Again. That bastard has done it again and no he did not say “oops I did it again”. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s not apologetic at all. Just a couple of hours ago I was once again made to feel that surge of rage within me when I saw how aunty and mummy diolita panicked to cook lunch because they forgot the princess is coming home early. Well if you can’t see the logic behind my wrath, it’s because they just brought lunch for me (fried fattening beehoon) and YET, JUST BECAUSE TH PRINCESS IS COMING HOME, THEY HAVE TO SERVE HER HOME COOKED FOOD. I simply cannot find any appropriate reason for this other than the fact that the princess IS TERRIBLY AFRAID and trembles at the possibility of being fat, so wouldn’t eat outside food. Hence they cannot buy for her packet food but can buy for me. That’s also because THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK THAT I’M TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHTAND THAT I’M THE MORE URGENT ONE HERE BECAUSE I. AM. FUCKING. FAT AND THEIR FUCKED UP PRINCESSY DAUGHTER IS NEARLY UNDERWEIGHT?? But I told myself, it’s okay don’t make yourself feel breathless and all the things you always feel when you’re angry cus anyways, you know they’re always like that towards you, and because you’re second-grade (or maybe even third). So no point getting all fucked up over this.

But this wasn’t the main issue. Moments ago when the FUCKED UP BASTARD came home with his princess, they bought back wanton noodles. At first I didn’t know its wanton because immediately upon reaching home, he just said “JIE JIE, COME TRY THE NOODLES. NOW.” Immediately from the tone of his voice, I know, he said it in that way with the clear emphasis on “now” was because he thinks I’m fucking obsessed over losing weight and wouldn’t dare put those oil filled noodles into my stomach. Yes its true, PLUS THE FACT THAT I’VE ALREADY EATEN LUNCH AND CLEANED UP THE WHOLE PACKET OF BEEHOON, adding more calories and carbo and fats into my body that’s already ruined during this cny period. But I didn’t really get angry because I just thought okay maybe it’s some uncommon or special noodle or something that I never try before. I even heard aunty telling him “it’s okay, she just had lunch” but THAT FUCKED UP BASTARD still insist “no nevermind ask her come try NOW.” It’s clear he seriously wants me to be fat. Maybe not so directly, BUT HE CLEARLY DOESN’T WANT THINGS TO GO MY WAY AND FOR MY PLAN OF SLIMMING DOWN TO WORK OUT BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHY? HE’S A FUCKED UP BASTARD THAT JUST LOVES TO INTERFERE AND CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE IN WHATEVER WAY HE CAN SO HE CAN PROUDLY BOAST THAT HE HAS WON AND EVERYBODY SHOULD BOW DOWN TO HIM. Simply put, it’s just to boost his pride. So anyways to prevent anymore nagging or shouting directed towards me, I made my way to “try” those fucking noodles. AND GUESS WHAT. IT WAS JUST TYPICAL WANTON NOODLES FROM A FUCKING HAWKER STALL. And when I ate it, THE FUCK IT ISN’T ANY DIFFERENT FROM ANY FUCKING NOODLES. Not like I never fucking try before!!?  Why make such a big deal and insist that I try it? If it was because you wanted to include me in your family activities and everything and paint a picture of familial harmony which for some strange reason this family is obsessed about, then fine. But to me at this moment, it was clearly not so. And I could only see it as an act to assert your authority and attempt to make my losing weight efforts as fruitless as possible. FUCK THIS FAMILY.

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