Why must I lend my thing to an ungrateful brat? After borrowing it from me, still whine and make all sorts of sounds. The anger still stirs within me right now, almost like bubbling in me and dying to spurt out of me. 90% of me wants to just run up to the brat and beat the living hell out of her. Right now I know I’m rambling and my words are nothing short of incoherent and just plain crude. And the thought of the father daughter using my things, harbouring hatred and disgust and contempt at me makes me so goddamn mad. SOSO mad. Their filthy fingers touching my things. leaving their filthy fingerprints on my calculator which is something dear to me and something I’ll use a lot. Yes I’m selfish and it gets so much on my nerves to know that they are using MY THING right now. Although I am well aware that is wrong of me. Actually, putting more thought into this current situation, I think I get why im emraged. It’s the fact that they hate me more than I hate them, yet they are so bold and SHAMELESS to DEMAND for my calculator (and not even having the courtesy to ask me themselves) to save themselves. Why must I help them? It gives me great pleasure and joy to know they are suffering. But no they’re not because I saved them, and I had to no matter how reluctant or how against I am to the idea. Oh and guess what? Aunty just came to me and tell me that uncle very fed up that I’m still continuing to use the calculator even though the numbers on It faded already. Oh well fuck you. I can use it and it doesn’t fucking bother me so mind your own business. In this few months of cold war between me and this family, especially with that fucked up father-daughter duo, I thought the wall between us will be a very clear one where they do them, I do me, But fuck them. Since you hate me so much and treat me as dirt, then why think about getting help from me? Just treat me as invisible and detestable like y’all have been all along. Why even bring me into the picture. Oh and since the calculator I lent them had the numbers faded and all right, that fucked up brat kept asking complaining to aunty “like that how to use” and asked aunty to ask me for another one, as if I had another calculator and purposely lent her the spoilt one. Well fuck you, I don’t. I already went out of my way and was so kind enough to let your filthy witch like fingers come into contact with my calculator, yet you still have the cheek to accuse me and assert your opinions and shit. Fuck you.

Disclaimer: Aunty, if you actually ever read this, I know whatever said here is really hurting since I’m shaming your loved ones.. But now the hatred between me and your loved ones have grown so deep that it’s at a stage where it’s irredeemable and can never return to anywhere near the past. I’m sorry. But aunty, my love for you has, to my surprise, stay strong and maybe even stronger. Because I know you truly care and love me as your own, although its starting to diminish because of my constant pounding on the trust you had for me. As for my anger and attitude towards the father daughter duo.. well I can only pray that it doesn’t get worse.. cus it’s already so bad now. And hopefully in the distant future, it can improve, even if its just by a meagre bit?

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